Oh wow, best books I've ever read.. wow. The Harry Potter series, for one, although I'll only count that as one, since it's really just seven parts of one big story. JKR really makes you feel like you're a part of the magic world. The imagery is so good, I had no problems visualizing even before the movies came out, and, the fifth book where we got 800 pages of CAPSLOCK HARRY notwithstanding, she made Harry a hero worth rooting for - you really felt for him, really rooted for him, because you knew that this was a good kid who deserved for good things to happen for him.

I also enjoyed the first three books of the Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy books. Again, counting as one, since that series is really five parts of one big story. The books are hysterical, and like the Potter books, the imagery is fantastic and you have no problems visualizing what's going on as you read. Douglas Adams, in my opinion, lost his momentum about halfway through the third book, and that's why the fourth and fifth books in this series aren't on here, they just aren't nearly as enjoyable as the first two.

One last best book.. I'm going to have to go with To Kill A Mockingbird. It was required reading in 10th grade, but it's really stuck with me all this time. To see the South through the eyes of a child who was raised by a wonderful man who had his head on right, well, it was interesting. Atticus Finch is one of my favorite literary characters of all time, because he represents everything I wish all people were - he's compassionate, he's nonjudgmental, believes in fair justice - what's not to like?

Now onto worst books. I know I'm going to get skewered for this, but I just can NOT get into The Lord Of The Rings trilogy. I have tried so, SO many times to read these books - my most successful venture came in.. I don't know, junior or senior year, I managed to get all the way through Fellowship and halfway through the Two Towers, but these books simply cannot hold my interest. It's not the length of the books that's the problem, good Lord, I made it through the Potter series, and the Twilight series for that matter, and I'm not even entirely convinced it's the content, since lots of people love these books - not to mention, I loved the movies. It's not even Tolkien that's the problem, I read The Hobbit and loved it. Maybe it's just me.

Another book I didn't like was The Grapes Of Wrath, which was required reading in 11th grade that I tried, SO HARD to like, but that book, again, did not hold my interest worth a damn. I barely passed the unit on it, because due to my lack of interest in the book, I was subsequently disinterested in the projects and tests over it.

Finally, I severely disliked Mirror Mirror by Gregory Maguire. I read it because Gregory Maguire wrote Wicked, which I loved, so I decided to read his subsequent books. This was a mistake. I finished it, because I have this thing about finishing books I start (except in the LotR trilogy, apparently, since I've tried so many times), but I remember always looking for a reason, any reason, to get up and do something else. Apparently holding my interest is my big thing in reading, since both of my previous disliked books failed to hold my interest, and so did this one. It lacked the charm and appeal of Wicked, which was a disappointment to me since Maguire wrote Wicked so well, I assumed his other books would be good, too. Guess that's what I get for assuming.

You'll notice that Twilight was neither on my best list, nor my worst list. That's because the Twilight series is far from the best series I've ever read, but it's also far from the worst. The books held my interest, and although it was apparent that Stephenie Meyer was having a love affair with her thesaurus through the entire series, and Lord did she love her purple prose, I still found the books enjoyable. I wanted to reach through the pages and bitchslap Bella more than just a few times through the course of Eclipse, and Edward through the entire series, for that matter, but I knew what I was getting into when I opened these books, I knew I wasn't gonna be getting THE BEST BOOKS EVAR ZOMG~~~. However, these books had many, many flaws (Edward, for one, I severely disliked his treatment of Bella, particularly in the third book - and Bella being okay with him being so controlling of her "because he loves me omg!" - that was ridiculous. Also, Emily being okay with being disfigured because Sam fursploded too close to her was way too close to "I'm sorry I made you hit me baby!" for my liking.) These are not books I'm going to let Alexis read until I've had the "this is a healthy relationship, this is not" talk with her and I'm certain she understands the difference, and understands that the Edward/Bella romance is a pretty good example of an unhealthy relationship. But they entertained me, and, Eclipse notwithstanding, didn't make me want to bash my own face in, and they held my interest, so that is why they are not on either list.

Crossposting this to Facebook, sorry if you see this twice.

So a friend of mine on Facebook got sick of looking at his past status messages and not knowing what he was talking about. So he proposed an idea for himself that every time he updates his status, he has to write a note talking about it so he doesn't forget why he posted a status. I thought it was a brilliant idea, and hopefully it will help me update my LJ a little more often. So, here are my notes from Facebook based on my most recent two status messages:

( On geisha )

and ( Halloween )

Aaaand, here, have some pictures of my kids because they were freaking adorable (tell me if this messes up your friends list, I'll put them behind a cut)

So, a couple more phrases from the "Weird Things 2-Year-Olds Say" book.

Justin was running around outside while I got Alexis out of the car, and he was running off. I asked him, "Hey, where are you going?" He says "I don't know, I'm Justin."

Just now, I asked him if he wanted a cookie. He says "No cheese. Cookie. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Cookie."

Oh, and can we discuss how he implored me to "WATCH OUT, MOMMY" the entire car ride home? I'm not THAT bad a driver...

Well, since she answered it about me, I'll answer it about her.

First of all, the point is moot because considering she's currently pregnant with child #2, I'm sure the services will not be needed. But, let's pretend something was wrong with her and she couldn't conceive. First, let's consider the scenario that nothing's wrong with her eggs or her boyfriend's sperm, it's her uterus that's the problem. For whatever reason, I'm not a doctor, and I'm not gonna pretend like I know everything that could possibly happen. They would be able to form the embryo, and just need a place to grow the baby. I would do that in a freaking heartbeat. It's true that I don't particularly like being pregnant, but I would totally help my best friend out.

Now, let's say it's not her uterus or her boyfriend's sperm that's the problem, it's her eggs. Let's say her sisters said no, because I'm sure she'd ask them first, and frankly, it makes sense to ask her sisters first, since the baby would be much closer to her, biologically, that way. But let's say her sisters all said no, and she asked me. I won't say in a heartbeat on this one, this would definitely be something that I would need to think about and talk to my husband about, but I will say, with about 90% certainty, that I *probably* would. The reason this isn't a certainty is because that WOULD be my genetic material. On the other hand, I'm not planning on ever using it again, so.. why not? However, I would definitely make sure my husband was on board with it.

Now, let's say her uterus and eggs are fine, but her boyfriend's sperm is messed up. First of all, I'm not convinced that would have been a problem, she has a daughter already by her ex-husband, and although I know she's just as excited for this baby and is going to love her just as much, I'm sure she would have been okay with just the one. But let's say they wanted to go ahead and have another one.. well, this is where it gets tricky, because I really don't know if my husband would be okay with donating his sperm. I don't think he would.

So.. have that.

EDIT: I reread her entry and she mentioned that even if I was infertile, I probably would have gone the adoption route rather than the fertility treatment route. This is true, and it reminded me that the same is probably true about her. I specifically remember when we were in high school, she never planned on having any biological children of her own and always planned to adopt a 3-4 year old (her theory: you potty train them, I'll take it from here).

I just want to state for the record that I am not wrong all the time. I'm willing to admit I'm not always right, but I'm sick and tired of somebody making me feel like I'm wrong about everything, almost every day.

(no, this has nothing to do with my husband; he's got my back nearly all the time)

I just made a private entry, and I hate making private entries, sososo much. I don't mind friends-only entries, sometimes you gotta say something, but you don't want the world to see, but my friendslist will still see it, so it's still kinda public. But private entries.. man, why even have a public blog if you're going to make private entries? I considered making it filtered, but the last time I made a filtered entry, one of the people who I DID NOT want to see that entry, saw it anyways. I checked my filter, and I didn't screw it up and accidentally put that person in the filter, so I have no idea how said person saw the entry.. maybe someone sent it to that person. I don't know. I didn't want to take the risk this time, so I just completely privatized it, and I just hate that.

And most days, I wonder if I would be a happier person if I quit being a nice person. I'm pretty sure I would NOT be, but at the same time, I'm too nice at work to tell my coworker that I'm not a freaking idiot and I DO know what I'm talking about most of the time. I'm too nice with my friends to tell them when they're being irrational douchebags. I don't say half the things I want to on Facebook because I just don't want to deal with the drama. I'm too damn nice for my own good. And there's things that I would probably be more open about on Facebook, except for two people who are on my friendslist: My dad, and my husband's exwife.

I just.. I mean, does it really pay anymore to be a nice person? I was raised with the "if you ain't got nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all" mentality, but most days, it seems like I'm the only one. No one else I know cares if they piss someone off, alienate someone. No one else gives a shit. The world revolves around them, and that's that. I can't even disagree with anybody anymore without getting the "well you're stupid and you suck" b.s. I would never dare tell someone they're stupid for disagreeing with me, even if I am thinking it, but so many other people would that I just.. ugh.

And just because I know you're thinking it.. no, none of this has anything to do with my husband.

To end this on a happy note, here, have a picture of me with my son, because he's cute, and I love him:

This entry deals with my religious views, sorry, I know I babble about that too much.

( cut because I'm just about the only religious person I know anymore )

I'd say I'll make a happy entry soon, but.. I can't guarantee that, and it seems like no one reads my happy entries either, so.. I don't care.

So, apparently my husband changed our desktop background last night after I went to bed. I got up this morning at 4 to make Alexis a bottle, and I'm stumbling around downstairs, half asleep, no glasses.. nothing. I glance at the computer, and just about shit myself because GIANT FREAKING PRESIDENT OBAMA IS STARING AT ME. I like the President (and that sentence right there is the reason I can't post this on Facebook), I like him a lot, but it's a little shocking to see your President staring at you at 4 in the morning when you weren't expecting it.

see more Fail Blog

I live about a mile from that liquor shop and see that sign every single day, haha. I didn't submit this, but I applaud whoever did.

Moving on, my friend Lindsay tagged me to do this on Facebook, but I'm posting it here, too. Go ahead and make fun of me for the fact that I listen to a lot more Idol alums than I realized.. honestly did not realize how bad it was until I figured out my most played artists (I don't have last.fm so I went through my iPod and did this manually). Anyways. Meme time.

( 20 most played artists )

By the way, if you don't already have me added on Facebook, feel free - http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=721526988 - just be forewarned I talk about my kids a lot.

So when the news broke yesterday about Michelle Duggar being pregnant with number 19, my initial reaction was "OMGWTF?" It's been a day now and I've had time to make my thoughts slightly more mature.

So. I'm pro-choice, and I'm pro-choice not because I like abortion (I don't) but because my feeling is that I don't have the right to tell someone else what they can and cannot do regarding their reproduction decisions. God says "Judge not, lest ye be judged," and I try to live by that. That pro-choice stance doesn't just cover the abortion topic, like I said, it covers ALL reproductive decisions. Want to birth at home? I support you. Want a highly medicalized birth? Go for it. Want birth control because you don't want kids? Sounds good. Want 19 kids? ...Who am I to say you can't?

I don't raise my kids the way they raise theirs. My daughter is allowed to wear pants, and if she decides she wants her hair cut, she can have a haircut. TV is allowed in my house, as is internet access once the kids get older. And Lord knows I don't have it in me to homeschool, so off to public school my kids will go. But they seem to be raising good, if naive, kids, so, good for them. I'd personally rather my kids have some real-world experience by the time they grow up, and I'd definitely rather they form their own opinions about things rather than just blindly following me and Robert, but I'm happy to see 19 well behaved kids who don't get into trouble. I'd rather see that than kids that already have felonies by the time they're 18, you know?

I do worry about her health, and being a c-section mom, I'm only too aware of the increased risks that come after each c-section, and Michelle Duggar has had 3 now. But I'm not her doctor, and if her doctor says it's OK, then who am I to judge?

So.. that's that.

So, a couple weeks ago, we found a new babysitter. Things were great the first day; I go to drop Justin & Alexis off the second day, and she's not there, and I can't get ahold of her on her cell phone. I tried for, like, half an hour, nothing. So my dad ended up watching them that day.. and then she texted me at 10:30 to tell me she couldn't watch my kids anymore. Great. Thanks. Although, I'm not too torn up about it, because good Lord, what if she hadn't been home and I hadn't been able to get ahold of her while she HAD my kids? Scariest thing I can think of.

So anyways, we found a new babysitter, she's been watching my kids for a couple weeks now, and she seems pretty good. My kids come home fed, happy, clean, unhurt, everything. They're happy to go over there (well, Alexis is happy with anyone who pays attention to her, but I pay attention to Justin's reactions, and he's always happy to go) and although Justin sometimes cries a little bit when I leave (because that's what 2-year-olds do, they get separation anxiety), it's not a constant thing, and she tells me within 5 minutes of me leaving he's fine. She has three kids of her own, her oldest is 3 and a half, plus she watches 2 or 3 other kids besides mine as well, and they're all happy and healthy, so I trust that she knows what she's doing. And she follows her doctor's advice like I follow mine, and agrees with me that Mom and Dad always know best, so I trust that she's not going to go behind my back and give my kids anything I don't say they can have (such as solids for Alexis - her four-month-old isn't on solids yet, so I definitely trust her there). Plus, it's good for Justin to be around so many kids his own age, as opposed to previously, he was only really playing with his brothers, who are so much older than him.

I've put off potty training Justin again because I decided he needed a chance to get over the whole babysitter-switching-ALL-THE-DAMN-TIME thing that we (unfortunately) had going on there for a little while and let him get adjusted to her, and let him start to feel comfortable, and feel like he wasn't going to be switched around again. I think I'm gonna give it another try Labor Day weekend, that'll give him a couple more weeks to get adjusted.

Anyways, so, I cut my hair, finally. I hadn't had it cut in almost two years, so it was about halfway down my back. I didn't get a before picture, ( but here's an after picture )

You know, I'm trying very hard not to complain about my job, because at least I HAVE a job, but it's just tough going to work every day and knowing that no matter what I do, I'm not even going to get a thank you. I'm not going to be told I'm doing a good job, in fact, I'm probably going to be told I'm messing up, when the reason I'm messing up is because my boss does not explain things well. Because I'm told every time I do something wrong, but obviously I can do no right. NO right. It's just.. it pretty much sucks, okay? My boss told me when he hired me that he's had a problem getting people to stick around, and I pretty much understand why. And I can't quit, because we can't afford for me to stay home. And I hate it when people tell me "Well, you wouldn't get any positive feedback from staying at home either." Oh, really? My 2-year-old tells me he loves me and wants a kiss and wants to snuggle. My 3-month-old sometimes won't stop crying unless I'M holding her. So yes, I AM in fact being told I'm doing a good job at being a mommy. Ugh. I just want them to tell me ONCE I'm doing good at work, instead of being told how I'm messing up, or that I'm wrong about something (such as if a file is on my computer or not.. if it's not, it's not, and I can't magically snap my fingers and make it be there.).. oh, and it's NOT my fault if I call a company to ask something and they don't answer the phone, so I don't have the answer. I can't make them pick up the phone.

Anyways, lunch break is 10 minutes from being over, so I guess I'd better get going back to work. Sigh. Four more hours today, then I just gotta work tomorrow, and one more week of my life is gone.

So I listen to the Bobby Bones show in the morning, which, while not exactly a local show, is syndicated live to Wichita and they acknowledge their Wichita listeners all the time, so. Anyways, so this morning, they had a segment where they talked about songs that made them happy, and it put me in a fantastic mood while I was driving to work, seriously, I was so happy walking in because of listening to all the happy music. So, I made my list of 10 songs that make me happy (no, seriously, this is pared down - originally, I had 31 songs on my list omg).

So, under the cut, a list of songs that make me happy and, if I'm alone (or only with my kids or something), make me act like Kris Allen in this gif:



( Yeaaaaaaaaaaaahhh, it's a party in the USA! )

So things are going as well as can be expected in the undonebeauty household, what with an almost two-month-old. She doesn't sleep through the night, but Justin didn't start sleeping through the night til he was 3 months old, so.. I'm holding out hope that I'll get a full night's sleep by the end of August. Alexis is smiling and cooing now, and it seems like each day, she gets a little less high maintenance. Still cries a LOT more than Justin did, though. Here, have a picture: ( Alexis )

I went back to work two weeks ago, but I'm gonna look for a new job. I'm only getting about 15 hours a week and I can't support my family on that - add in the fact that gas is going up again and my van only gets about 17 miles a gallon, and this job just isn't lucrative for me anymore. It was great in the wintertime, when I was regularly walking out with $50-75 in my pocket, and gas was cheap, but summer is the slow pizza season anyways, add in the recession, and I've just gotta find something else. Also, I don't want to make a career out of delivering pizza - sorry, no. So I'm setting a goal to have another job lined up by the end of July - I know that's probably a little ambitious considering current economic conditions, but whatever.

I thought I had a lot of things to say, but I've been staring at the screen for the last five minutes, completely drawing a blank, so I guess I don't have anything to say after all. Oops.

Like most of our generation, Robert and I only have our cell phones. Mostly we don't see the point in adding another bill every month when our cell phones work just fine and get the job done. And it's not as though we could dump the cell phones and switch to a landline - we both have to have cell phones for work (he has to be able to get in touch with the shop at anytime while he's out around the city cleaning carpets, and they have to be able to get in touch with him; also, every couple of months he's on call for a week and they have to be able to get ahold of him no matter where he's at. I technically don't *have* to have a cell phone, but in my line of work, it makes my life a hell of a lot more convenient - this way if I need to get in touch with the store while I'm on a delivery, or if I need to get in touch with the customer, I don't have to look for a pay phone. Also, if the customer calls the store while I'm en route and tells them something I need to know - for example, recently, a hotel customer realized he had given the wrong room number - they can call me and let me know that information). So a landline is not economically feasible, therefore, we don't have one.

So I've spent the last two days just trying to get caught up on my friends' page.. I finally had to give up at something ridiculous like 400 entries back (my friends page blew up with last week's American Idol between Danny's scream and Allison's elimination). So now I'll update about my new baby. Under the cut because I'll be surprised if it doesn't get long.

( So did I have a boy or a girl? )

I hate being nine months pregnant. I'm just gonna complain for a minute.

I hate false labor pains. I know this isn't real labor; the pains suck, but I'd still call them more uncomfortable than actually painful, they're not regular, and the closest together they are is 10 minutes, BUT THEY STILL SUCK. I hate the fact that my belly button hasn't popped out and therefore my kid kicks at it. I hate the fact that my kid kicks at my cervix. I hate the fact that I have to pee every single hour. I hate the fact that I'm seven days from my c-section date and this kid hasn't dropped yet, which means it's still hanging out in my ribs and I can't freaking breathe. I didn't have this problem with Justin; I carried him low throughout my entire pregnancy with him, dropped a week or so before I had him, and ended up induced/c-sectioned early anyways. I'm more pregnant with this child than I ever got with Justin. I hate the fact that my uterus is so crowded that the baby's kicks hurt. I hate when this child gets the hiccups. I hate the fact that I can't eat a full meal. I managed to get one taco down for dinner tonight. ONE. I had no more room after that, I would have exploded if I had tried to eat more. I hate that I have Restless Legs Syndrome at night and I can't sleep in the one position that truly relieves it for me - on my stomach. I hate the fact that I can't stand up without feeling like my uterus is gonna fall out. I hate the fact that I think I might have a yeast infection and I'm scared to just get some Monistat because I know my cervix is dilated to 1 cm (at least.. that's where it was last Thursday, it could have gotten further in the week since then), therefore, Monistat could affect the baby. I hate the fact that I can't see my legs to shave them, and I know they're going to make comments about it at the hospital because they did when I was having Justin ("Wow, it's been a while" was a comment one nurse made after seeing my legs. I'm so sorry that I have a policy of not taking sharp objects to anything I can't see; it's gotten me this far, I think it's a pretty good policy!). I hate that I spend all day in pain because I'm all baby. I don't see how Michelle Duggar does it, popping a new one out every 18 months. If I never get pregnant again, I'll be perfectly fine with that. If God meant for all of us to have 18 kids, He wouldn't make this last month so ridiculously suckish.

Okay, well, now that I've bitched, I'm gonna get up and get something done, because moving around is pretty much the only thing that makes these stupid false labor pains better (and that's another reason I know this is false labor and not real labor; if it was real labor, moving around wouldn't relieve the pain)

So I'm going to my friend's baby shower today.. which totally puts me in a clothing dilemma. Obviously, it's her baby shower, today is about her, and I don't want to distract from that.. but being 9 months pregnant myself, I can't exactly hide my belly no matter what I wear. I haven't really worn maternity clothes this pregnancy, except for my leftover maternity pants from when I was pregnant with Justin, but the problem is that most of my shirts, while they cover my belly and leave nothing hanging out, they're tight (obviously) and I'm afraid they would draw too much attention to my own belly. I could wear a maternity shirt, but the problem is that all my maternity shirts that are clean are either sleeveless or have very short sleeves, which wasn't a problem when I was pregnant with Justin (which is when I bought these damn things) because I could cover up with a jacket.. but it's in the 80's and 90's here, it's way too warm for a jacket, and wearing one of those shirts without a jacket would lead to too many awkward questions, and again, distract the attention from my friend.

But I'll figure something out. I guess if all else fails, I'll wear something out of Robert's wardrobe - obviously him being male, he has bigger shirts, I think he has shirts that aren't too distracting (or advertising beer.. somehow I think a pregnant woman wearing a shirt about beer would probably attract some unwanted attention), and he has been known to wear some of my shirts (most of my shirts have smartass comments on them, it's not like he wears my blouses or anything. Although if that was his prerogative, I'd still love him) so it's totally okay for me to return the, ahem, favor, y/y?

I went to Kid To Kid yesterday to pick up a car seat for the baby, seeing as how I'm having this kid in 10 days, I thought it might be a good idea. I also picked up several green/yellow/white/brown onesies (this was really the first time my entire pregnancy I wished I knew what I'm having - I saw loads of cute onesies that would have been appropriate for a boy, or a girl, but not both). A couple hours later, Robert comes through the door.. holding a car seat he picked up at a yard sale. On the one hand, it's not completely unnecessary, we do have two vehicles, after all, but on the other hand, since infant seats can be buckled into cars safely without their bases, we really only needed one (we only had one between the two of us when Justin was a baby and never needed a second). But at least we were both thinking about getting something we knew we needed for the baby.. and both car seats are in great condition, and together, we still spent less on two used than we would have spent on one new, so no harm done. Actually, it kind of reminded me of the time we had just gotten our tax refunds and we both went grocery shopping, spending about $250 each, without the other one knowing, and ended up with more stuff in our kitchen than either of us had ever seen before (and, eventually, we did eat it all).

Omg, I just realized I seriously hope I don't go into labor at the baby shower today, because if I'm tripping over my clothes possibly distracting from my friend, imagine what me going into labor would do. I fully recognize I could go into labor before May 5, please God, if I'm meant to have this child before May 5, please just don't make it this afternoon.

My wonderful husband called my dr's office and spoke with the office manager.. long story short (because it's not 3 AM and I actually have things to be doing right now), I don't know how, but he managed to get something worked out for me and I still have a doctor and am still having this child on May 5 as planned. So needless to say, I think I have the best husband in the world.

I had an appointment today, incidentally, and had my cervix checked. I'm dilated to 1 cm, but it's not active labor until at least 3 cm, and 1 cm is normal at my stage of pregnancy. So I'm still determined to make May 5, no matter what my coworkers say.

Can't sleep. Bottom fell out from under me today. I don't know how long I'll type or how melodramatic I'll get so here's fair warning that what's under the cut may be long and whiny.

( ... )