I'm gonna trade this life for fortune and fame

What was that resolution I made? Update at least once a week? PFFFFFFFFFFT.

2009-06-30T16:20:24Z

So things are going as well as can be expected in the undonebeauty household, what with an almost two-month-old. She doesn't sleep through the night, but Justin didn't start sleeping through the night til he was 3 months old, so.. I'm holding out hope that I'll get a full night's sleep by the end of August. Alexis is smiling and cooing now, and it seems like each day, she gets a little less high maintenance. Still cries a LOT more than Justin did, though. Here, have a picture:

I went back to work two weeks ago, but I'm gonna look for a new job. I'm only getting about 15 hours a week and I can't support my family on that - add in the fact that gas is going up again and my van only gets about 17 miles a gallon, and this job just isn't lucrative for me anymore. It was great in the wintertime, when I was regularly walking out with $50-75 in my pocket, and gas was cheap, but summer is the slow pizza season anyways, add in the recession, and I've just gotta find something else. Also, I don't want to make a career out of delivering pizza - sorry, no. So I'm setting a goal to have another job lined up by the end of July - I know that's probably a little ambitious considering current economic conditions, but whatever.

I thought I had a lot of things to say, but I've been staring at the screen for the last five minutes, completely drawing a blank, so I guess I don't have anything to say after all. Oops.

Writer's Block: Call Me

2009-06-02T19:44:02Z

Do you still use a landline at home, or do you rely completely on your cell phone?

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Like most of our generation, Robert and I only have our cell phones. Mostly we don't see the point in adding another bill every month when our cell phones work just fine and get the job done. And it's not as though we could dump the cell phones and switch to a landline - we both have to have cell phones for work (he has to be able to get in touch with the shop at anytime while he's out around the city cleaning carpets, and they have to be able to get in touch with him; also, every couple of months he's on call for a week and they have to be able to get ahold of him no matter where he's at. I technically don't *have* to have a cell phone, but in my line of work, it makes my life a hell of a lot more convenient - this way if I need to get in touch with the store while I'm on a delivery, or if I need to get in touch with the customer, I don't have to look for a pay phone. Also, if the customer calls the store while I'm en route and tells them something I need to know - for example, recently, a hotel customer realized he had given the wrong room number - they can call me and let me know that information). So a landline is not economically feasible, therefore, we don't have one.

Oh, poor, abandoned LJ

2009-05-12T03:01:55Z

So I've spent the last two days just trying to get caught up on my friends' page.. I finally had to give up at something ridiculous like 400 entries back (my friends page blew up with last week's American Idol between Danny's scream and Allison's elimination). So now I'll update about my new baby. Under the cut because I'll be surprised if it doesn't get long.

We got to the hospital at 5 AM on Tuesday morning (Tuesday being May 5) and they got me all set up and ready for surgery. At 7, they brought me to the OR. The epidural went MUCH better this time than it did when I had Justin - it hurt again going in, of course, but they didn't screw it up, so I only had to deal with the epidural pain once, as opposed to twice last time. Then they laid me down and started prepping for the c-section. Finally I started feeling the unzipping sensation and the pressure (the epidural blocks the pain, but you still feel the pressure) from the doctors moving my insides around to get to my uterus. We had told the doctors we didn't want them to call out "It's a boy!" or "It's a girl!" We wanted them to show us. At 7:36, the baby was born, they cut the cord, and then lifted the baby over the curtain to show us..

It's a girl!

Robert and I finally got our girl. We named her Alexis Robin, Alexis is a name we both like, and Robin is after his deceased sister. She was 19 inches long, and weighed 7 lbs, 14 oz. When the doctors were pulling her out, they kept saying it was a big baby, and I was expecting 9 lbs the way they were talking; I was surprised she didn't even break 8. She has a FULL head of dark brown hair, and dark blue eyes.

About 8:00, I was all put back together and stapled up and they wheeled me back to my room, Robert walking along beside me. I stayed at the hospital until about noon on Thursday, and by then I was ready to go home. My experience at Wesley was a total 180 this time from how it was when I had Justin - the nurses actually knew what they were doing, and they actually had this thing called a bedside manner - I had no problems with any of my nurses, they were all extremely nice. I also had no problems with Wesley wanting to keep Alexis for no reason the way they wanted to keep Justin for no reason - her doctor told me Wednesday evening that if I had been ready to go home then, he'd sign the papers right then - I wasn't ready, of course, I wanted to stay another night, and even if I'd wanted to go home, my doctors wouldn't have signed the papers, and rightly so.

So I've been home since.. I think we probably got home at about 1:00 or so on Thursday afternoon. Alexis is turning out to be as good a baby as Justin was - she sleeps well, eats well, doesn't cry unless she needs something.. and I'm finding taking care of both her and Justin surprisingly easy, probably because I understand all this newborn stuff already because I've had a newborn before. I know now that if I go to the bathroom and she starts crying, I don't have to stop my pee midflow and run out with my pants around my ankles - she can cry for a couple minutes and it won't hurt her. It also doesn't hurt that even though she wakes me up every few hours during the night, I'm still getting more sleep now than I did when I was pregnant, I was THAT uncomfortable. Of course it'll be even better once she starts sleeping through the night, but I know this time that eventually, she will (as opposed to when Justin was a newborn and I spent the first three months of his life wondering if I would EVER get a full night of sleep again).

Pictures! I only have two at the moment.

(sorry the second one is so small; Robert's phone takes small pictures)

undonebeauty @ 2009-04-28T20:16:00

2009-04-29T01:37:27Z

I hate being nine months pregnant. I'm just gonna complain for a minute.

I hate false labor pains. I know this isn't real labor; the pains suck, but I'd still call them more uncomfortable than actually painful, they're not regular, and the closest together they are is 10 minutes, BUT THEY STILL SUCK. I hate the fact that my belly button hasn't popped out and therefore my kid kicks at it. I hate the fact that my kid kicks at my cervix. I hate the fact that I have to pee every single hour. I hate the fact that I'm seven days from my c-section date and this kid hasn't dropped yet, which means it's still hanging out in my ribs and I can't freaking breathe. I didn't have this problem with Justin; I carried him low throughout my entire pregnancy with him, dropped a week or so before I had him, and ended up induced/c-sectioned early anyways. I'm more pregnant with this child than I ever got with Justin. I hate the fact that my uterus is so crowded that the baby's kicks hurt. I hate when this child gets the hiccups. I hate the fact that I can't eat a full meal. I managed to get one taco down for dinner tonight. ONE. I had no more room after that, I would have exploded if I had tried to eat more. I hate that I have Restless Legs Syndrome at night and I can't sleep in the one position that truly relieves it for me - on my stomach. I hate the fact that I can't stand up without feeling like my uterus is gonna fall out. I hate the fact that I think I might have a yeast infection and I'm scared to just get some Monistat because I know my cervix is dilated to 1 cm (at least.. that's where it was last Thursday, it could have gotten further in the week since then), therefore, Monistat could affect the baby. I hate the fact that I can't see my legs to shave them, and I know they're going to make comments about it at the hospital because they did when I was having Justin ("Wow, it's been a while" was a comment one nurse made after seeing my legs. I'm so sorry that I have a policy of not taking sharp objects to anything I can't see; it's gotten me this far, I think it's a pretty good policy!). I hate that I spend all day in pain because I'm all baby. I don't see how Michelle Duggar does it, popping a new one out every 18 months. If I never get pregnant again, I'll be perfectly fine with that. If God meant for all of us to have 18 kids, He wouldn't make this last month so ridiculously suckish.

Okay, well, now that I've bitched, I'm gonna get up and get something done, because moving around is pretty much the only thing that makes these stupid false labor pains better (and that's another reason I know this is false labor and not real labor; if it was real labor, moving around wouldn't relieve the pain)

undonebeauty @ 2009-04-28T16:10:00

2009-04-28T21:37:06Z

- Do three weeks worth of grocery shopping, so I have food for this week, and so I don't have to do any grocery shopping during my first two postpartum weeks.
- Scrub my kitchen floor. I've been threatening to do this for a month.
- Clean my stove, and turn on the auto cleaner for the oven - this is harder than it sounds, because it takes three and a half hours for the auto cleaner to completely cycle through, and I have to actually be there to turn it off - so it has to be a time when I'm actually gonna be home and awake for three and a half hours. Also can't be while I'm doing laundry, as my electricity will shut off due to overload if I run both my oven and my dryer at the same time.
- Speaking of.. laundry on Sunday. Possibly Monday.
- Finish cleaning out and organizing my upstairs closet.
- Clean out and organize kids' closet.
- Clean off the top of Justin's dresser.
- Put the crib together (this really just means putting the sheet on the mattress and putting the mattress in the crib; the crib itself was never taken apart after we moved Justin to his big-boy bed, seeing as how we knew the crib would be used again in a few months)
- Put the swing together.
- Find a good stroller. The one we have is moldy from being outside for several months and a piece of crap and we're not gonna reuse it.
- Clean the baby bathtub.
- Finalize baby shopping list (noting what needs to wait until we actually have the baby; such as, I'm not buying any more freaking yellow/green onesies - I'm sending Robert to get pink or blue ones once the baby comes) and get it.
- Clean out my van, it's a trashhole at the moment.
- Install the car seat into my van. Kick Charles to the back (because he is smaller than me and will be able to get to the back seat much easier than I'll be able to get the car seat in and out of the back - it's going in the middle row, right in the seat Charles usually sits in.)
- If I get a chance, finish reading Twilight. I don't think I will, with everything else I need to get done, so chances are, it's coming to the hospital with me.

Anything that requires spending money, I can't do at the moment as my latest deposit hasn't cleared yet, so consequently, I have zero money. Like, I don't even have any cash. I just hope I don't run out of gas, I'm nearly on empty. Hopefully it'll finally clear tomorrow.

This list is here so that I have it somewhere, because otherwise, I will forget things and they won't get done. And then I'll be pissed at myself. And that's not good.

undonebeauty @ 2009-04-25T08:56:00

2009-04-25T14:28:55Z

So I'm going to my friend's baby shower today.. which totally puts me in a clothing dilemma. Obviously, it's her baby shower, today is about her, and I don't want to distract from that.. but being 9 months pregnant myself, I can't exactly hide my belly no matter what I wear. I haven't really worn maternity clothes this pregnancy, except for my leftover maternity pants from when I was pregnant with Justin, but the problem is that most of my shirts, while they cover my belly and leave nothing hanging out, they're tight (obviously) and I'm afraid they would draw too much attention to my own belly. I could wear a maternity shirt, but the problem is that all my maternity shirts that are clean are either sleeveless or have very short sleeves, which wasn't a problem when I was pregnant with Justin (which is when I bought these damn things) because I could cover up with a jacket.. but it's in the 80's and 90's here, it's way too warm for a jacket, and wearing one of those shirts without a jacket would lead to too many awkward questions, and again, distract the attention from my friend.

But I'll figure something out. I guess if all else fails, I'll wear something out of Robert's wardrobe - obviously him being male, he has bigger shirts, I think he has shirts that aren't too distracting (or advertising beer.. somehow I think a pregnant woman wearing a shirt about beer would probably attract some unwanted attention), and he has been known to wear some of my shirts (most of my shirts have smartass comments on them, it's not like he wears my blouses or anything. Although if that was his prerogative, I'd still love him) so it's totally okay for me to return the, ahem, favor, y/y?

I went to Kid To Kid yesterday to pick up a car seat for the baby, seeing as how I'm having this kid in 10 days, I thought it might be a good idea. I also picked up several green/yellow/white/brown onesies (this was really the first time my entire pregnancy I wished I knew what I'm having - I saw loads of cute onesies that would have been appropriate for a boy, or a girl, but not both). A couple hours later, Robert comes through the door.. holding a car seat he picked up at a yard sale. On the one hand, it's not completely unnecessary, we do have two vehicles, after all, but on the other hand, since infant seats can be buckled into cars safely without their bases, we really only needed one (we only had one between the two of us when Justin was a baby and never needed a second). But at least we were both thinking about getting something we knew we needed for the baby.. and both car seats are in great condition, and together, we still spent less on two used than we would have spent on one new, so no harm done. Actually, it kind of reminded me of the time we had just gotten our tax refunds and we both went grocery shopping, spending about $250 each, without the other one knowing, and ended up with more stuff in our kitchen than either of us had ever seen before (and, eventually, we did eat it all).

Omg, I just realized I seriously hope I don't go into labor at the baby shower today, because if I'm tripping over my clothes possibly distracting from my friend, imagine what me going into labor would do. I fully recognize I could go into labor before May 5, please God, if I'm meant to have this child before May 5, please just don't make it this afternoon.

All better!

2009-04-23T23:30:46Z

My wonderful husband called my dr's office and spoke with the office manager.. long story short (because it's not 3 AM and I actually have things to be doing right now), I don't know how, but he managed to get something worked out for me and I still have a doctor and am still having this child on May 5 as planned. So needless to say, I think I have the best husband in the world.

I had an appointment today, incidentally, and had my cervix checked. I'm dilated to 1 cm, but it's not active labor until at least 3 cm, and 1 cm is normal at my stage of pregnancy. So I'm still determined to make May 5, no matter what my coworkers say.

undonebeauty @ 2009-04-23T03:22:00

2009-04-23T08:49:10Z

Can't sleep. Bottom fell out from under me today. I don't know how long I'll type or how melodramatic I'll get so here's fair warning that what's under the cut may be long and whiny.

My Dr's office called me today (yesterday now, it's past midnight) to tell me that unless I can come up with $1000 by tomorrow (today now) they will no longer see me as a patient. How did I get here? I don't qualify for Healthwave - apparently making $2500 a month for a family of three with one of those members pregnant is too much - so I had to go to the doctor uninsured. Every time I tried to set up a payment arrangement with the dr's office, all they'd tell me is that they don't really do payment arrangements, but they need $2100 by the time I deliver. So I tried. I tried to save up the money on my own, but inevitably, a bill would come up that HAD to be paid, or we'd have no groceries in the house, etc, and the money I had saved for my dr was the only money available. So.. I went into it. I'm not starving my family, sorry.

They called me yesterday to ask how much I could bring in with me to my appointment tomorrow. I told them $250, which is true, I haven't cashed my paycheck yet. They told me that's not good enough, and that unless I bring half of the total cost with me, they will no longer see me as a patient.

This also cancels my c-section, because the hospital won't do it without a doctor. I'm 37 weeks pregnant. There are very few practices that will even see a new patient who is more than 36 weeks along. I did manage to get an appointment set up next week, but I feel very uncomfortable putting all my eggs in one basket this far along into my pregnancy. But I also feel like I don't have a choice, because they were the only place I called that would even see a new patient as far along as I am. I just hope the dr's office I'd been seeing will get the records transfer put through in time - they said it would take 7 to 10 days, as far along as I am, I feel like I'm playing Russian Roulette, honestly. What am I supposed to do? The dr's office has very nearly cut me off from any pregnancy care, because they won't see me anymore, and the combination of how far along I am, the fact that I need a c-section, and the amount of time it takes for them to transfer records makes it nearly impossible for me to go anywhere else.

And I'm terrified now because there was a reason for the c-section - uterine rupture is a very real possibility since I've had a previous c-section! I know that if I go into labor, legally, the hospital has to treat me, but I'm sure they don't have to do a c-section if they don't deem it necessary, even if I do, because not everyone takes the possibility of uterine rupture as seriously as I do.

So I don't even know what I'm going to do. I mean, I guess I'll bring the dr's office the $250, even though I feel like I'm just throwing it away since they said it wouldn't do anything, but at least then they can't tell me I didn't even try. And I guess I'm just praying that that will at least guarantee my doctor will deliver the baby, although I'm sure it won't. But if she'll deliver the baby, at least the c-section is still on, and although I'm not happy about going to rest of my pregnancy without seeing the doctor, at least knowing that the c-section is still on will put some worries out of my head. But I'm sure tomorrow morning will just bring more worries.

undonebeauty @ 2009-03-24T10:46:00

2009-03-24T16:08:59Z

I'm such a putz, I mostly update via my status message on Facebook anymore, and then I forget to blog. Oops. So I guess I'll update now.

Last time I updated, I had just gotten my cat, so let me think what's happened since then. I traded my Saturn in for a van.. god I feel like such a Soccer Mom typing that. It wasn't paid off yet, but the dealership paid the Saturn off and just added the balance to my note, so it's all good. My payment on the van is $420 a month, BUT consider that before Robert paid his truck off, we were paying nearly $600 a month in payments on my Saturn and his truck, we're still doing better now than we were. Additionally, the way we've got the payments set up, we're going to have the van paid off a full seven months before I was scheduled to have the Saturn paid off; so that's gonna be freaking awesome.

I'm still working at Domino's, still like my job. There's idiots, of course, but you get idiots wherever you work, so it's nothing I worry about. People tend to tip me a couple extra bucks when they see my belly, so that's pretty cool. Honestly, it would be nice to make more money, but right now, Domino's is working for me, and I need Domino's because Ted works with my crazy-ass scheduling issues, and I know that not everyone would do that.

I don't have diabetes with this pregnancy. As a matter of fact, I have no complications. It's kind of nice, after the pregnancy hell I had with Justin, to be able to see what it's like to have a ridiculously normal pregnancy. I don't even have a small-or-large-for-date baby; I'm measuring EXACTLY where I should be for how far along I am. My C-section is scheduled for May 5, and I have to be at the hospital at 5:30 AM. OH EM GEE I DO NOT WANT TO GET UP THAT EARLY AIIIII.

Justin's getting big; I think I might start potty training soon. He's talking more now, I can actually understand him more of the time. Not all the time; he still babbles a lot, but it's okay.

Let's see, talked about the van, the job, the pregnancy, the kid.. now you know why I don't update, my life is ridiculously normal and unpostworthy. It's all great.

Writer's Block: Fearsome

2009-02-07T14:54:17Z

The boogeyman, global thermonuclear war, being forced to eat broccoli—there's a lot to be afraid of when you're a kid. What was your biggest childhood fear?

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The only thing I remember being afraid of as a kid was the vacuum cleaner, and that was more the noise than anything else, and once I was about seven or so, I got used to the noise and the vacuum didn't scare me anymore. Other than that, I can't remember being afraid of anything. I even tried reading other answers to see if any would trigger my memories, and nothing did.

Of course, I'm absolutely terrified of spiders now, but that fear didn't manifest itself until high school.

undonebeauty @ 2009-02-03T20:13:00

2009-02-04T02:50:19Z

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/daschle_taxes

I have to admit, it's rather nice having a President who is willing to not only say "I screwed up," but also "I'm frustrated with myself." It's something that's been sorely lacking the last eight years.

I didn't watch the Superbowl because I didn't care. I find it extremely amusing, too, that I was the only one at work that Ted DIDN'T schedule to work on Superbowl Sunday (busiest pizza day of the year).. and I'm the only one who didn't care about the game. I wasn't even 100% positive who had won when I went to work on Monday morning; again, didn't watch the game. It's awesome.

So, Robert and I have a friend who lives in Kansas City who needed to find someone to adopt one of her cats cause she couldn't take care of him anymore. We talked about it and decided to adopt him. Originally, she was going to drive all the way down here, but then the next day she asked us if we wanted to meet somewhere. So we met her in Emporia on Sunday to get the cat. His name is Rocky, he's a black-and-white manx cat, and I don't have a picture because I'm still without a phone.

Yesterday, when I got home from work, I couldn't find the cat. I typed out a whole long story, but then I got bored rereading it, so I'll just give the Cliff's Notes version: the cat, we're pretty sure, ended up being somewhere between the first and second floor of our house, because after four hours of looking, he jumped out of a closet that I had thoroughly cleaned out in an effort to look for him, and there was a hole we found in the closet that looked like it led under the stairs. On the bright side, I had been wanting to clean that closet out for quite some time now, and now it's done. We went to Walmart and bought a latch for that closet door; Rocky won't be hiding in there again. We also moved his litter box and his food and water into the bathroom; we didn't want them in the basement anymore since we were looking for him and found a way he could jump into the basement of the other side of the duplex - we don't have room in the kitchen for the litter box or his food and water, so we made room in the bathroom.

I have nothing else to babble about.

Writer's Block: Opposites Attract

2009-01-29T15:16:17Z

What celebrity would you consider changing your sexual identity for?

View other answers

Carrie Underwood, no freaking contest. And you get no reason, because no reason is necessary. It's Carrie Underwood. That's all the reason you need.

undonebeauty @ 2009-01-25T17:08:00

2009-01-25T23:09:23Z

So I actually came up with three laws of trains (similar to Murphy's Law) about a year ago or so, and I posted them on my friend's Myspace, but since I've since deleted my Myspace, the comment was also deleted, so I'm posting it here (and at Facebook) so I actually have it somewhere. I can't guarantee this is word-for-word the original, because the original no longer exists, but I'm gonna get it as close as I can. All these laws are true, and I can vouch for them because I deliver pizza in the worst possible area of town for trains - I don't even know how many train track intersections there are in my area.

1) No matter how fast a train is moving, if you decide to stop and wait on the train, it will stop. You will be stuck.
2) If you are coming up on a train intersection and notice a stopped train, and try to find an alternate route, the train will start moving again as soon as you turn down a side road.
3) If you think you can outsmart the train and sit and wait on it, expecting it to begin moving again at any moment, think again: If you decide to sit and wait it out, that train will stay stopped.

Lord of the.. zzz...

2009-01-23T16:10:38Z

I think it's time to just accept the fact that I am never going to read Lord of the Rings. You don't understand, I've been trying to read these books since I saw The Two Towers in the theatre. I just can't get into them. They don't interest me, which makes no sense as I read The Hobbit and loved it. I've tried something like four or five times now to read these books, it's just not happening. My most successful venture was about three years ago, when I got all the way through Fellowship and halfway through The Two Towers. I've been trying to read Fellowship for the last three or four weeks and I'm only four chapters in, because I can't get more than five or ten pages read at a time before I want to fall asleep, and anymore, the fact that I'm just not interested has made reading feel more like a chore to me, and that's the last thing I want.

So up next, I think I'm going to read Twilight, just to see what the big fuss is about; about half my friends love those books, half hate them. I haven't read them, so I have no opinion.

But now, it's time to go to work. Hopefully we're busy today, I need to make some money.

undonebeauty @ 2009-01-21T21:57:00

2009-01-22T04:31:52Z

http://abcnews.go.com/TheLaw/Health/Story?id=6689027&page=1

excerpt: Melissa Calusinski, 22, is accused of throwing Benjamin Kingan, 16 months, to the floor of a Lincolnshire, Ill., day care center after she grew angry that the boy would not be quiet, according to police. After being thrown to the ground, Kingan, who had a fractured skull, grabbed his blanket and crawled to his favorite bouncer seat, before he became unresponsive and died, Lincolnshire police said.

I'm sure it's probably partially my wacko pregnancy hormones, but I read that and started thinking about Justin and how he drags his blanket around with his thumb in his mouth, and then I started thinking about how this little boy spent the last couple hours of his life terrified, his head had to be hurting, and he probably just wanted his mommy. And then I started thinking about what I would do if something like that happened to Justin, and at that point, I just lost it and started bawling. Because of my babysitting issues, I'm probably going to have to put Justin in day care two days a week soon, what if something like this happens? Last year in Wichita, there was a string of toddlers who died at daycares, and there was something ridiculous like 10 kids under the age of five murdered last year. I just don't understand it, why would you hurt someone so young, who just depends on you? I know Justin can be difficult, he's 2, I expect difficulty, I expect him to be a pain in the ass at times. That's just how little kids are, why would you even work in day care if you couldn't handle a toddler being a pain in the ass? Aye, I'm gonna stop thinking about this now, it's just making me more upset.

I had a doctor's appointment on Monday, everything's going ridiculously normal. I couldn't get health insurance, so I guess I'm just gonna have huge medical bills. I'll be all right, though, I'll set up payment arrangements so that I don't have to file bankruptcy. I had a sonogram last month, everything looked extremely normal (no deformities, no defects, nothing), I'm measuring normal, I have no abnormal symptoms.. of course, my pregnancy with Justin was ridiculously normal up until about this point, and then my blood sugar went nuts. I have that test next month, here's to praying I come up normal this go-round.

I don't even have any weirdo cravings! There's a girl at work who's also pregnant, she's going to have her kid about 3 weeks after I have mine, the other night, she had made breadsticks, she was drizzling them with honey and then dipping them in ranch. HONEY AND RANCH. blech.

I have nothing more to say, so I'm gonna close this now.

1, 2, 3, 4, monsters walking across the floor

2009-01-20T00:37:12Z

So my kid watches Sesame Street in the morning, right? The other morning, he's watching, I'm playing around on Facebook, when all of a sudden, I recognize a song!

I love it!

I've been actually cooking for dinner, as opposed to making Hamburger Helper, or just picking fast food up, or making Robert cook. I've found all sorts of recipes that I've been trying out. Some turn out well, some don't, the ones that do, I save so I can make them again sometime. I've found that I enjoy my meals that much more for the effort that I'm putting into them. I've also discovered that instant mashed potatoes have NOTHING on real ones - I've actually been making real potatoes lately. Cooking is mostly foreign to me, Robert says it's because you learn to cook from your parents/grandparents. I wouldn't know, my mom doesn't cook. Nearly everything I had growing up got cooked in the microwave. I think the only thing that wasn't cooked in the microwave was the rare occasions we had spaghetti. But I've discovered that I really like sitting down with my cookbooks, poring through them, deciding what I want to make during the week, writing down what ingredients the recipes call for (and how much), going through my kitchen, figuring out what I already have, making my shopping list accordingly, and then going to the store with my list. It's also prevented me from doing impulse shopping at the grocery store, because I also put things we need in general on my list (milk, cereal, bread, etc) and that makes it so that I can stick to my list - and ONLY to my list, so that if it's not on my list, it doesn't get put in my cart.

Christ, I really do act like an adult now. When the hell did this happen?

undonebeauty @ 2009-01-11T23:14:00

2009-01-12T05:31:25Z

Today, Robert and I took the kids out to help his mom move. She had been living in Eureka, which, while not exactly Wichita, at least has a Sonic. And a grocery store. She moved out to Bumfuck, Egypt, and that's not much of an exaggeration. It got me thinking, and I think this is probably just a side effect of growing up in.. well, I know Wichita isn't the biggest city around, but it's big enough. Anyways, I grew up in a good sized city, and that's probably why I've always wondered what it would be like to live in a small town.. if I actually lived in one, I think I'd go crazy, honestly. Good gravy, his mom's gotta be living AT LEAST thirty miles from the nearest grocery store. Three gallons of gas just to go get a gallon of milk and come back! It doesn't hurt so bad now when gas is $1.69 a gallon, but it can't be too long before gas gets super expensive again. I just don't think I could handle it. I have to have civilization. I have to be able to go to the grocery store and interact with a stranger while they're ringing up my groceries. I have to be able to spend less on gas than I am on the milk. Good gravy, I just had a thought, I hope they don't have an emergency, and not just because I hope that for everyone I know, but because I don't know where their ambulance/fire truck/cops/whatever would come from and I don't know how long it would take. I like knowing that if my house catches fire, or something happens to Justin, I can call 911 and the ambulance/fire truck will be there soon. I just couldn't do it. I couldn't live 30 miles from anything even remotely RESEMBLING civilization. But his mom seems like she's going to be happy, so I'm happy for her.

undonebeauty @ 2009-01-01T09:34:00

2009-01-01T16:03:13Z

I've found myself, for the most part, happier since transferring to the new Domino's after mine closed. I get along with everyone there, and it's nice that the managers trust that I know how to do my job, and let me just do my job, rather than micromanaging me and telling me what to do every baby step of the way. I don't wake up every day dreading going to work because I'm not feeling like dealing with this person's bitchiness, this person's moodiness, this person's bipolarness, this person's unpredictability, etc. I don't even wake up dreading work at all anymore.. well, except when it snows, but that's an outside circumstance. But I've been coming home in a better mood for not having to deal with idiots and irrational people. Also, where William was scheduling me for 25-30 hours a week, Ted is scheduling me for the 35-40 a week that I want, and the tips are better at the new store, so financially, I'm doing better as well.

Really, I don't have anything to complain about at the moment. Justin whines a lot and throws a lot of tantrums these days, but he's 2, so that's pretty much all the explanation anyone needs, and I'm figuring he'll be okay once he gets a little older and more reasonable. I had a sonogram this week, and the baby looks great; no deformities, everything's developing completely normal. The baby is even measuring exactly where it should be, down to the day, so my pregnancy is just insanely normal at the moment. Robert and I are still planning on waiting until the baby's born to find out whether it's a boy or a girl, so I don't know. I think it's another boy, but I don't actually care whether it's a boy or a girl as long as I get a healthy baby, and so far, looks like I'm getting my wish. My c-section date has been set for May 5, so unless I go into labor before then, I'll be having this baby on May 5.

I don't really have anything else to say, so I'm gonna close this up and go to work (because not everyone gets today off).

New Years Resolutions snicker

2008-12-29T00:38:43Z

I don't think I kept a single resolution last year, ha. So here I go, trying again for 2009.

1) Same resolution as number 1 last year, but actually keep at least one of these.

2) Eat healthier.. less fast food/junk food.

3) Exercise more.. though I won't worry about this until June or July, once it's safe for me to start exercising again post-surgery.

4) Read 50 books. I'm going to keep making this resolution every year until I finally hit it! And then I'll probably keep making it just to keep myself well-versed.

5) I'm not going to try to update my blog every day like I threatened to last year, because Lord knows I won't do it, but I think blogging at least once a week I can probably do.

6) Finally get all my closets organized. This means the closet off the living room, the closet off the bathroom, the cabinets/drawers in the upstairs hall, the closet in the bedroom I share with Robert, and the closet in the kids' room.

7) Organize my back room at some point this year, as at this point it's sort of a hodgepodge of everything that doesn't quite have a home. Hell, I'll throw the basement and garage in, too, especially since I'm expecting to start nesting in the next couple of months and I'll have the urge to do it.

8) Establish a plan to keep my house clean.. I'm sick and tired of constantly coming home to a dirty house.

9) Get Justin potty trained. I've pretty much resigned myself to having two kids in diapers for a few months, since I'm due in four and a half months and Justin hasn't even shown any interest in potty training yet, but that's definitely not something I want to do for very long.

10) Learn to cook. I mean, yeah, I can cook a little, but I want to get into the habit of knowing what I'm making for dinner each night so that we can minimize the eating out and fast food.

I think that'll do it.

Writer's Block: What Kind of Wonderful?

2008-12-20T21:43:53Z

A lot of people love the film It's a Wonderful Life. Some people find it to be not so wonderful. Do you have a favorite holiday-themed movie? And if so, what is it?

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I think my favorite is The Polar Express. I generally am not a big fan of the Christmas movie genre (or Christmas songs, for that matter - the only ones that don't make me want to gag myself are the Trans-Siberian Orchestra version of "Carol of the Bells" and the song by Brad Paisley about the completely politically correct Christmas) but this one, for some reason, melts even my bah-humbug-ish heart. I don't know, maybe it's the computer-animated Tom Hanks.

(on a sidenote, sorry all I've been posting lately is answers to Writer's Block.)

Writer's Block: Under the Same Sign

2008-12-18T15:15:01Z

Today is chockfull of celebrity birthdays—Brad Pitt, Keith Richards, Christina Aguilera, and more. What celebrities do you share your birthday with? Do you find any similarities between you and those who share your birthday?

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November 20. Josh Turner, Dierks Bentley,, and Joe Biden, all of whom I happen to be fans of. Well, I guess the appropriate term for Biden is supporter. Whatever. I actually just discovered all of those in the last year - before then, I didn't know of anyone who shared my birthday. Even non-famous people - I was ALWAYS the only one in school, and later, work, who had my birthday. Of course, a buttload of people always had a birthday about a week before mine - you had all those people who were conceived on Valentine's Day. But my mom's birthday is February 22, mine's November 20 - now you know when I was conceived ;D

undonebeauty @ 2008-12-06T10:14:00

2008-12-06T16:16:10Z

So, I got bitchslapped by the economic crisis, but I've received my bailout, although it wasn't by the government.

I suppose I should elaborate.

On Tuesday, I found out that the Domino's I've been working at for the better part of the last three and a half years is closing on Sunday night. I suppose I shouldn't have been *too* surprised, I knew our sales were low, I knew how high food and labor costs were, and what that left our owners with to pay rent/utilities, Cintas, Terminix, and all the other miscellaneous costs. This left me at a loss, because here I am, three and a half months, four months pregnant, who the hell is gonna hire me? The owners said they would pay unemployment, and of course I would take them up on that so I'd at least have *some* money coming in, but of course unemployment wouldn't pay as much as working would.

My boss, William, told me that they were going to offer me a job at our Central & Tyler location. Same hours, same pay, everything. I was unsure if I wanted to take it; I've heard nasty things about the manager of that location, and I can't really ignore the toll this job is taking on my car.

Yesterday, the owner came in and told me and Cindy the news (we weren't supposed to know; William wasn't supposed to tell us; subsequently, we acted surprised.) As I was told he would, he offered me the job. I still wasn't totally sold on the idea, but I decided to give it some more thought. On the one hand, here's a guaranteed job, with no change in hours, no change in pay (this is both a blessing and a curse - on the one hand, at least I can't go lower; but on the other hand, I don't make that much), and the company already knows I'm pregnant and I don't have to worry about when to tell them. On the other hand, the toll this job is taking on my car is tremendous, and I've heard the boss is a major asshole.

Then I began to think about the entire situation as a whole. I realized that the only person who's really told me anything about Ted (manager at Central & Tyler) is William. I've never really worked for Ted; only sporadically, I've gone over to that location to help out every once in a while. I know William has a tendency to try to make everyone else look bad in order to make himself look better; I mostly ignore this behavior from him. I know William doesn't like Ted. It makes sense, therefore, that his opinions of him are skewed - and really, if I'm only hearing about Ted from one person, and that person happens to not like him, I'm probably not getting a completely unbiased account.

I also thought about the fact that the Central & Tyler location is expanding its area starting Monday to include about half of West Street's area, and they're going to need someone who knows that area to be able to navigate it and help the other drivers who don't know that area because they haven't been delivering in it. I thought about the fact that I wouldn't have a learning curve; I could just jump right in and hit the ground running, and they need that. I would have a slight learning curve when it came to learning Central & Tyler's area, but I know how to read a map, so finding an address on a map before driving there is no big deal for me. I also know that the owners consider me one of the best drivers in their franchise - and that's something they've told me, that's not me bragging.

And I thought about my situation as a whole - with the pregnancy and everything. If it turns out that William was right after all and Ted is as big an asshole as he claims, well, I *will* be taking off to go on maternity leave at the very end of April; I could always look for a new job during that time. I don't have to be there very long if it turns out William was right and I just really can't work with Ted. And if it turns out I really was getting a skewed version from William and I can work with Ted just fine - well, no further action needed.

So I decided to transfer to Central & Tyler. I'd rather be working than be sitting around collecting unemployment, looking for a job and praying that somebody will hire me pregnant. This way, I'll have a guaranteed paycheck coming in and will know it's going to be enough money; I won't have to worry about whether my unemployment check will pay my bills or not.

Well, that's about enough babbling for today; I'm hungry, time for breakfast.

Writer's Block: Gone but Not Forgotten

2008-12-04T15:57:32Z

Many beloved television shows are no longer with us, like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Six Feet Under, and Mystery Science Theater 3000. What defunct television show do you miss the most?

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IN WHICH LIZ DISCUSSES RELIGION AGAIN - feel free to skip if desired.

Joan of Arcadia. It was only on for two seasons, but I thought it was one of the best shows on TV. Back then, I pretty much felt the same way I do now about religion - I believe in God and I sort of consider myself a Christian, but I pretty much can't stand the utter hatred that spews out of so many Christians' mouths. I appreciated the show for talking about God without getting preachy, or saying that "oh, only THIS way is an okay way to believe." The show portrayed God pretty much the way I believe is true - that He's extremely compassionate, loving, and despite what his louder followers would have you believe, doesn't hate anyone and believes in everyone. God would appear to Joan as people from various ways of life - sometimes as a middle-aged dog walker, other times as a goth kid at her school, other times a little girl from her neighborhood, among other incarnations. His missions to her didn't always make sense to her or the audience, but by the end of the episode, she (and the audience) would realize the purpose (example: when she was told to take the school outcast to the prom - he snuck in alcohol and got expelled, but God showed her an alternate timeline, one where she had not taken him, he had not gone and subsequently had not gotten expelled - he ended up shooting up the school - his being expelled was the lesser of two evils). I can't remember exactly, but I'm pretty sure the show got cancelled for low ratings - which was a shame, because it was an awesome show.

Writer's Block: Eat, Drink, Be Merry

2008-11-25T14:51:34Z

Thanksgiving is almost here in the U.S., heralding the start of the holiday season and the first of many meals where you might be confronted with a traditional dish that you happen to find disgusting. What holiday food do you hate to see on the table?

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Sweet potatoes. Seriously. Gross. Every single year growing up, up until I was about 16 or so and my mom finally realized that maybe my taste buds were different than hers, I was forced to eat them at Thanksgiving and at Christmas. My mom's logic was that if I was forced to eat them enough times, I'd learn to like them. Ha! Didn't work! And now that I've got my own family and am cooking my own Thanksgiving dinner this year, guess what? There will be no sweet potatoes on my my menu!

The only thing on my menu this year that I don't like is stuffing, but I'm making it because my husband likes it. Stuffing is another food I always had to eat and despite my mother's best attempts to force me to like it, never did learn to like.

But, I'm also making turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy, green bean casserole, rolls, deviled eggs, a strawberry-banana pie, egg nog, and punch to drink. I'm so stupidly excited, and I was looking at how long it's going to take me to make each thing and I'm not gonna have to do any preparation the night before other than cleaning my house up - no cooking the night before for me. Yay!

undonebeauty @ 2008-11-22T13:57:00

2008-11-22T20:22:14Z

I'm putting this here because I need somewhere to put this so I don't forget it, because Lord knows I will if I just try to keep it all in my head.

I've been playing around on Wichita State's website, with cost estimators and whatnot. I'm planning on taking 12 credit hours a semester, in order to be a full-time student (12 hours or more) so I can get any benefits that come with being a full time student. I realize that by only taking 12 credit hours a semester, it'll take me a little longer to finally get my degree, but I think it'll work better for me that way as taking fewer credit hours will allow me to work more and be able to continue helping my husband provide for our family, as opposed to if I was in school more and working less, I wouldn't be able to do that. I think this is going to be affordable for me, because with the Pell grant I'm estimating I'll get, and other grants I think I might possibly get, I'm only expecting a $500/year out-of-pocket cost for me. I know most scholarships are aimed towards graduating high school seniors, but I know I'm not the only adult who's decided to return to college, and I figure there's got to be scholarships for people like me; if I can just get $2500, that'll be enough to cover all my college-related expenses; and if I can get more, I'll be able to afford to work less and focus on my education more. And if not, well, that's why I'm anticipating working.

I really think I might finally do this; after years of threatening, haha. I've already researched possible career options too; I could go work for the government - there's a recession-proof job, because no matter what, the government always exists, and to be very honest, I'm expecting more government jobs to pop up under the Obama administration. Also, the fact that a lot of people working government jobs are older and therefore will be retiring soon means government positions will be available. I know it's not a job you take when you're super-duper concerned about making money; but consider the fact that I'm only making about $13000 a year right now, I can't go much lower than that, so really, even a $15000 a year job is a raise for me. It's also damn near impossible to lose a government job; I think it said something like only 1 in 5000 people gets fired - there's some pretty good odds right there - and when they're facing budget cuts, they simply don't fill vacant positions, as opposed to laying people off. Not to mention the benefits are pretty nice.

I'm so stupidly excited that I might finally actually do this. So I guess that's one thing off my to-do-by-the-end-of-the-year list. Remaining:

- establish plan to get the hell out of debt (going to school should not aggravate this plan since I'm only anticipating a $500 out-of-pocket-per-year cost)
- come to think of it, that's it. Oops.

I'm gonna trade this life for fortune and fame

What was that resolution I made? Update at least once a week? PFFFFFFFFFFT.

Writer's Block: Call Me

Oh, poor, abandoned LJ

undonebeauty @ 2009-04-28T20:16:00

undonebeauty @ 2009-04-28T16:10:00

undonebeauty @ 2009-04-25T08:56:00

All better!

undonebeauty @ 2009-04-23T03:22:00

undonebeauty @ 2009-03-24T10:46:00

Writer's Block: Fearsome

undonebeauty @ 2009-02-03T20:13:00

Writer's Block: Opposites Attract

undonebeauty @ 2009-01-25T17:08:00

Lord of the.. zzz...

undonebeauty @ 2009-01-21T21:57:00

1, 2, 3, 4, monsters walking across the floor

undonebeauty @ 2009-01-11T23:14:00

undonebeauty @ 2009-01-01T09:34:00

New Years Resolutions *snicker*

Writer's Block: What Kind of Wonderful?

Writer's Block: Under the Same Sign

undonebeauty @ 2008-12-06T10:14:00

Writer's Block: Gone but Not Forgotten

Writer's Block: Eat, Drink, Be Merry

undonebeauty @ 2008-11-22T13:57:00

New Years Resolutions snicker